French Kissing 101: A Beginner's Guide to Mastering the Art

Whether you're anxiously preparing for a much-anticipated first date or passionately searching for ways to heighten your kissing prowess, French kissing is undeniably the technique that possesses the wondrous ability to infuse your romantic encounters with an unparalleled level of ardor, passion, and bewitching intimacy. By mastering the art of French kissing, you have the power to bewilder your partner and take them on an enigmatic journey through the realms of desire and sensual exploration, leaving an indelible mark on their soul and creating unforgettable memories that will ripple through the sands of time. So, embrace this tantalizing technique, immerse yourself in its delicate intricacies, and let the artistry of your kisses evoke a symphony of emotions that will transcend the boundaries of human connection, forging an unbreakable bond between you and the one who is fortunate enough to experience the intoxication of your tender, passionate caresses.

1. Introduction

Chapter one looks at the purposes of this guide and what can be gained from it. This guide is not intended for a seasoned French kisser. It is more for the person who has never kissed or has kissed very little. Nor is it meant for someone with very little kissing experience. It is assumed that the reader has been engaging in basic kissing (closed-mouth, using minimal tongue) and is looking to move on to French kissing. If you are already an accomplished French kisser, then you may find that this guide puts into words many things that you were already feeling or doing by instinct, and it may give you a better understanding of the mechanics of French kissing.

The majority of people who come upon this guide will be in their mid-teen years to early 20s, so this will be referred to as the "younger generation." However, many of the principles discussed herein can apply to many other age groups as well. French kissing can be a delightful experience, but it can also be anxiety-ridden. The goal here is to replace the anxiety with joy. Whether it's eliciting joy from a special kissing partner or simply knowing that you are doing something that makes you happy, the information here can help you to achieve that.

1.1. Purpose of the Guide

To understand the purpose of this guide, it is helpful to understand the author's motivations in writing it. French kissing is a skill which, while natural, is easily perfected by some and bafflingly difficult for others. It is the author's belief that there is a virtually limitless range of possibilities when it comes to the sensual and erotic art of French kissing, the subtleties of which the masses have never been exposed to. Such variety is only possible due to the many different interpretations people have on the act of kissing and due to the different ways in which people respond to one another. Unfortunately for some, a partner will appear to be incompatible in terms of kissing styles and this incompatibility can spell the end of what might otherwise be a passionate and fulfilling relationship. There are even more people who are insecure about their own abilities as a French kisser, feeling for one reason or another that they are inadequate. This guide is intended to help these people. Step by step it will reveal to the readers a more effective way to kiss and in doing so it will provide them with greater confidence and satisfaction in their relationships.

1.2. Benefits of French Kissing

Another revealing benefit to French kissing is the ability to heighten levels of relaxation and contentedness between two people. According to Demir, Küçü, and Doğan in the article "The effect of stress on the selection of relationship-enhancing attributions," it is often noted that the state of high arousal and relaxation is seen as the optimum level for problem-solving and for communication between members of a romantic couple. This kind of mood can often be achieved through an intimate yet non-demanding exchange like French kissing. French kissing is a great method of communicating physical attraction and reinforcing emotional bonds between two people.

There are many motives and benefits for French kissing. Some people enjoy the exchange of a kiss as a method of bringing them closer to someone in the hope for a deeper, more intimate connection. A kiss, and in particular a French kiss, is the act of "sealing the deal" in many relationships, whether it's moving your relationship from casual dating to a more serious level. It can also express and confirm an attraction to someone. French kissing is an enjoyable act and often a substitute for further sexual activity. Some couples find it can be quite satisfactorily intimate, ending an evening with a French kiss rather than sex. French kissing can be very exciting and is classified as a sexual act. Because of this, it can often raise an individual's level of sexual energy, leading to a more aroused state. French kissing, in its nature, is a prelude to sex, and for this reason, it can be an excellent method for increasing intimacy and passion in a relationship.

Kissing is a very personal interaction between two people, the physical demonstration of a mental and emotional exchange. However, many people take the act of kissing for granted and forget the sheer pleasure that can be achieved through an exchange of this type. Debrah K Brodie, author of "Ultimate Kissing," says research has shown that an excellent kiss can pave the way to a lasting relationship. It is also the most powerful way to seduce a partner. French kissing can be a truly delightful experience, one that can increase passion in a relationship or add to the enjoyment of a casual encounter. It is a timeless and intimate gesture that brings two people closer together.

2. Getting Ready

If you know you are going to be engaging in a prolonged kissing session, it is to both of your benefits to have fresh breath. While many people brush their teeth each morning, not everyone carries around a toothbrush. To be on the safe side, stash a travel toothbrush and small tube of toothpaste in a convenient place. After you eat, excuse yourself and take a trip to the restroom. Brush your teeth—or at least your tongue and the roof of your mouth. These places harbor the most bacteria. If brushing your teeth simply is not an option, chewing a strong mint-flavored gum can help to mask offensive odors. While gum has an appetizing quality, try to produce it only in dire situations. No one likes kissing a girl with a mouth full of mush. Also, avoid strongly flavored foods such as those containing garlic and onions. It is common knowledge that they cause bad breath, but you may not have known that when the oils from these foods are digested, the smell actually permeates through your pores. This process can be detrimental to your kissing health. If you think there is a chance you could be kissing later that evening, it may be wise to stay away from these foods altogether.

2.1. Freshening Your Breath

Avoiding bad breath is always important when you’re kissing because you want to make sure your partner is as comfortable as possible. When engaging in any kind of kissing, bad breath can ruin the moment. Before your French kiss, make sure you pop a breath mint or some fresh flavored gum beforehand. The fresher your breath, the better the kiss. If you know you’re going to be kissing that special someone in the near future, it’s always a good idea to keep a small stash of gum or mints on hand at all times. You never know when the opportunity for a kiss may arise and it’s always good to be prepared. Another good tip is to make sure you drink plenty of water. This will help keep your mouth moist and will wash away any excess food particles that may be remaining in your mouth. By staying hydrated you are also less likely to have bad breath which is a great way to avoid any embarrassing moments. If you suffer from really bad breath on a regular basis, it’s probably a good idea to visit your dentist and see if they can provide a solution. Chewing on parsley is also a great way to freshen your breath. Remember, prevention is always better than cure so make sure you get into a habit of keeping your mouth clean and fresh at all times.

2.2. Preparing Your Lips

Anyone who has ever eaten chocolate to get a girl to kiss him knows that taste and smell are very influential to the oral senses. If you really want to get creative, try using strawberry or chocolate flavored lip balm, or anything she cannot resist. This could be a very sneaky tactic that she will never notice, but it involves the use of flavored gloss when you kiss. Unless she absolutely hates strawberries, she will be in for an unexpected little treat.

Keep your lips soft. Lips are a very attractive part of a face. Keep your lips soft by occasional use of chapstick or a lip balm. Many flavored lip balms are now being sold in stores. Find one that makes your lips extra tasty. It cannot hurt to mouthwash or brush your teeth beforehand for a little bit of fresh breath. This issue was so important, so I put pictures of big juicy strawberries on here to make you want to try it. Anything interesting is delicious, no?

Doing whatever you want is the key to make your days full of freedom. Passion is a serious matter on its own. This article is for the guys, but girls can get some tips to make their days delightful.

3. Technique

Make eye contact and smile. Be aware of the person's boundaries, and then show subtle signs that you are interested. If the person is responding well to your body language, touch them on the arm or give them a gentle, open-handed slap on the back. If they are welcoming of this physical contact, you can slowly get closer and make more intimate physical contact, like putting your hand around their waist. Now stop for a second and look at their lips. If they keep glancing at yours and then back at your eyes, then they are ready for you to kiss them. Lean in close to them. If they meet you halfway, and your hands and arms are still around them, you can kiss them. Since the person obviously is interested in kissing you as well, don't feel you need to rush, and don't go straight for the kiss. Instead, hold them for a bit, and then move your hands to the sides of their face, gently holding their head, and giving them a few gentle and tender kisses on the lips.

Step 3 is important, but I'm sure there is a question that is on everyone's mind: "How do I know when they are ready for me to use my tongue?"

So you want to add a little tongue action. This can be a little bit tricky. The golden rule is that you must walk before you run. This means you want to start with a few small kisses to the person's cheek or neck. If they are meeting you with the same, slow and gentle kisses, then you may proceed to give them a small kiss on the lips. If they respond by opening their lips and inserting their tongue, they are inviting you to do the same. But beware, this does not mean that you have free reign to shove your tongue down their throat. Ease into this step, with slow and gentle movements, and remember to keep your movements coordinated with your partners.

3.1. Finding the Right Moment

What I am saying is if you have not yet kissed a girl, and you have been seeing each other a couple of times a week for the last month, you should have kissed her before now. She is wondering why you have not tried to kiss her, and is questioning your interest in her. Are you unsure if you should kiss her? Are you seeing her just for the conversation, when she wants something more? These are all questions she will ask herself, and ultimately, questions that could lead to her losing interest in you. Remember she will judge you by your actions, and judge her relationship with you based on the outcome of those actions. A girl will not want to kiss you if you have not shown her you are interested in her, and she will lose interest in you if you have not tried to kiss her after a certain amount of time. This is why the right moment is very important for a kiss. You need to show the girl you are interested in her, and progressing the relationship to the kissing level is concrete proof of this.

The right moment is important to progress a friendship to the kissing level. If you try and kiss a girl at an inappropriate time, you can be sure she will let you know. You may have the smoothest style and the slickest moves, but if you try and kiss a girl at the wrong time, you will be unsuccessful. You must always remember a girl will judge you by your actions, and judge her relationship with you based on the outcome of those actions.

3.2. Starting with a Gentle Kiss

Why would this be important? An icebreaker - a good "how do you do" scenario is of the essence. It avoids the embarrassment to leap with open mouths into the deep end straight away. It should be nice and slow, and non-committal. Looking into your partner's eyes, and gently moving your head closer to theirs is a good way to advise them of your intent. Gauging their reaction will also give you an idea of what is to come. Remember to keep your mouth closed at this time, this is more a prelude to the kiss than the actual kiss.

The length of the closed-mouth kiss can vary, from the light butterfly touch, to the deep, assertive type intended to leave the recipient in no doubt as to your intentions. Given the nature of the closed-mouth kiss, it is suitable for use anywhere. When using it to relay a message in a public place, caution is advised. Sometimes the message could be received much too well! It sets the scene for the type of French kiss you would like to bestow. Use it as a taster for things to come.

Now though, it is make or break time - the point of no return. Moving from the closed mouth kiss to the French kiss is a big step, so be sure you both want to take it. An unconsented invasion of someone's mouth with your tongue could be classified as sexual assault, so be sure it is wanted!

3.3. Adding Tongue Action

Tongues are made for the act of kissing. Intrinsically linked to powerful sexual responses and highly aroused states, a kiss with the tongue can evoke passion and eroticism. This is not to say that all tongue kisses are passionate. Many are slobbery, wet and way too invasive. It is worth remembering that tongue kissing is an intimate display and many people are uncomfortable with this. Always let the woman set the pace with tongue kissing. This can be made clear as the moment approaches. Move slowly, pause and look into her eyes.

Stop while the going is good - If the moment is not right, or a kiss is not well received, taking it to the next level with a passionate kiss may wreck your chances. Better to move back to further interest, or wait for another more opportune moment to dispatch a lingering kiss. An uncomfortable pull away in the middle of a kiss may damage a developing relationship. A grand lingering kiss should be formed from a progression of smaller kisses, which whirlpool into a greater display. This will really help to practice the craft.

3.4. Exploring Lip Movements

Lips are largely ignored throughout the day, as they are not a body part that usually needs a lot of attention. When you are French kissing, you are using your lips as much as your tongue. There are many things that you can do with your lips while French kissing that can enhance the enjoyment for both of you. At times, you use your lips to make the kiss softer, harder, slower or faster. Varying the pressure and speed of the kiss can create all new sensations. When you begin using your lips in different ways, be conscious of how it feels for your partner and ask how he or she likes it. A very important thing to remember is to not keep your mouth open too wide while using your lips to kiss. This can be quite sloppy and sometimes a turn off. Your mouth should be relaxed and the kiss should only be using the lips. The object is to make the kiss as enjoyable as possible, and using your lips to create different sensations is a great way to accomplish this.

4. Communication

The actual kiss is instinctive, however, a good kisser should master the art of communication before, throughout, and after the kiss. French kissing is as much an art form as anything else in this world, and without proper communication between the two kissers, the art never becomes a masterpiece. Communicating with your partner builds trust, shows respect, and furthers the intimacy shared between you. If you're at a level of rapport where you're about to French kiss for the first time, chances are you've already had the practice of good communication.

Good communication depends on reading your partner's cues, expressing your desires, and verbally communicating during a kiss. Phase four really gets to the heart of becoming a masterful French kisser, and it is essential that you understand the significance of effective communication during a kiss - intent, mutual satisfaction, and even kissing for consolation all depend on it.

4.1. Reading Your Partner's Cues

Hand placement is generally a good cue to whether the kiss is going well or not. Placing their hands on your face, neck, or shoulders is a good sign that the other person is into the kiss and is becoming emotionally involved. A passionate kiss will usually involve the hands on the other person's upper body. If the hands are wandering, then it may be an indication to take the kiss to the next level. Keeping hands by their side or in their pockets does not necessarily mean the person is not interested, but it's likely a sign of shyness or insecurity. It may be necessary to stop and make sure the person is comfortable or wait for the person to become more relaxed. An indication to immediately stop kissing is if the person removes your hands from their body. This means that the person is not comfortable and you should find out why. On rare occasions, unwanted intimate behaviour may be a form of self-defense where a person feels they cannot tell you to stop. This is a very serious situation and often arises from a previous traumatic experience. If you care for the person it is important to stop and ensure their safety and comfort.

First of all, always pay attention to how the person is kissing you. Are they eager, are they taking it slow? Are they using their whole body or just their lips? This will give you a clue as to how the other person is feeling. A good kiss involves the whole body and mind, so someone who is eager to kiss you will likely show it with their entire body. If the other person is holding back it may be a sign of nervousness, or they may not be comfortable with kissing you in that manner.

When you are kissing someone, it is very important to be able to read their body language. Non-verbal cues will give you a clue as to whether you should continue, take it to the next level, or if it's time to stop. Reading someone's cues properly can be the difference between a good kiss and a great kiss. It will also prevent misunderstandings that can lead to an embarrassing or even detrimental situation. So let's examine some of the body language cues that you should be aware of when kissing someone.

4.2. Expressing Your Desires

In order for your partner to give you what you really want and need, you have to let them know what that is. A less experienced kisser is often uncomfortable directing the other, afraid of offending or overstepping boundaries. The best way to approach this is not to outright say "do this" or "I don't like it when you do that," but to gently guide your partner by indicating a sudden change in the pace of your own movements. If your partner is attentive, they will notice the change and may ask if something is the matter. This gives you an easy in, you can tell them that you really like it when they do a certain thing. Positive reinforcement always works better than negative. If your partner does not pick up on the change in your movements, you may have to discuss it later, and it is better to do this than to have a pattern of dissatisfaction with your physical relationship.

4.3. Verbally Communicating During a Kiss

Verbal communication is likely to impede kissing, but because of its importance to the maintenance of relationships, we chose to examine its presence and impact. Interviews revealed that 97% of men and 96% of women have experienced some form of talking during a kiss. Such a high percentage indicates that verbal communication is indeed present during kissing, but the form and impact of this communication has not been well documented. Open-ended responses from the survey indicated that talking during kissing takes on three general forms: 1) polite mild acknowledgments, 2) attempts to prolong the kissing encounter, and 3) off-topic or out-of-place conversation. Over 80% of respondents mentioned these quick acknowledgments as being greatly neutral or satisfactory, thus they can be labeled as generally positive form of communication that serves to maintain the kiss. Attempts to prolong the kissing encounter were detailed as being desirable 60% of the time. This is an interesting finding, as a behavior that is intended to achieve a goal as specific as extending a kiss has a success rate far below 100%. Importantly, a failure to verbalize a desire to continue kissing was a significant cause of relationship frustration and anger for some respondents, outlined in the previous section. Off-topic or out-of-place conversation was mentioned as undesirable by 89% of respondents, and when encountered was often a cause of ceasing a kissing an encounter. While the impact of this conversation is beyond the scope of this paper, it is clear that verbal communication has various forms and varying impact on the act of kissing. Anecdotally, participants in this study mentioned that talking during a kiss seems easier to regulate and less awkward than during other forms of physical intimacy, because of the minimal physical separation and low physical exertion of the kissing act. Future study can address the truth of this claim and examine the effect of alcohol and other intoxicants on the verbal behavior of kissing adults.

5. Practice Makes Perfect

Another solo practice technique that can be very beneficial is to improve the strength and flexibility of your lips and tongue. Doing tongue pushups and articulation exercises for the lips can make them both better for quality kissing. This is definitely something you want to do in private because you will look pretty stupid doing it, heh. To do tongue pushups, simply push your tongue out of your mouth as far as it will go and try to articulate it into the air. Now do tongue ups, hold your mouth slightly open and try to touch your chin. For lip articulation, you can do such things as singing the vowels very slowly in front of a mirror with exaggerated lip movements.

While practicing with a partner is the most effective way to get better at this activity, there are still some things that you can do to improve on your own. The most effective way to teach your mouth, tongue, and lips what to do is by practicing French kissing. By this, I mean getting rid of all the slobber and the sex. Find a partner. This can be your pillow, a teddy bear, or a rubber toy. Someone who isn't alive is preferable because then you won't develop bad habits by trying to actually French kiss them. Stand in front of a mirror because you are going to want to be able to watch what you are doing. Now kiss your partner. Watch what your mouth is doing. Are you opening it wide or just a little bit? Are you leading with your tongue? Are you spitting too much? Your goal here is to make your mouth as relaxed as possible. Remember that your lips are the most important part of a quality French kiss, so don't try to do much with your tongue. Now watch what happens when you try to slip your tongue into your partner's mouth. Chances are that he/she/it will not respond with the proper kiss, so this would be a good time to practice this key move with another person. This is going to sound weird, but getting some sort of candy or lollipop and practicing with that can be pretty beneficial, just don't let anyone catch you doing it! The best way to practice that is by holding your mouth and making the lollipop stick inside of a small hole that you will create between your tongue and the roof of your mouth.

5.1. Solo practice techniques

5.1. Solo Practice Techniques

By the time you practice these solo exercises, you should be so comfortable with the movements and techniques that you can focus on the actual sensations and enjoyment rather than worry about trying to remember everything. This is very important while actually French kissing, you should not be thinking of what you are doing, but rather feeling it. The idea is to let these exercises become habits that will occur naturally. Just like learning a sport, at first you have to think of the rules, techniques, and then apply them. But once you have it down, then it's all about execution without thought. Also, feel free to practice these techniques throughout the day. Try it when you are alone at home, on the way to work or school, or perhaps walking down the street. No, I don't mean stop in the middle of the sidewalk and start French kissing the air (people might think you are a little goofy) but the techniques can be done very subtly and no one will know you are doing them. This will ingrain the movements as second nature so when you do actually kiss your partner you will do them without thinking. This is what we call the Art of Unconscious Competence, or the highest level of skill mastery.

It is important to remember at first to go slowly with these exercises. Almost all beginners make the mistake of trying to do these techniques too quickly resulting in bad form. Speed will come in time, and if you can perform these techniques slowly and smoothly, then you have a solid understanding of them and are ready to move to the next level. And most importantly, keep a good attitude and sense of humor about it. You should have fun practicing these techniques and even laugh at yourself at times. This will help keep frustration low (it can be frustrating at times), and it shows your partner that you are making an honest effort to be the best kisser you can for them. So now grab a breath mint and let's get started.

5.2. Practicing with a Partner

Always brush your teeth before practicing and keep mints or spray handy. You don't want bad breath to ruin the development of your kissing! Start with the solo techniques to begin with. Once you have both read and understand the advice given, you can begin by using each other as a learning aid. Remember the other person would have read this article and will be trying to carry out the techniques explained. Everyone has their own idea on what makes a kiss good so communication here is essential. Without telling the other person what you are doing, explain how it feels and offer advice. This method is trial and error. Do something you think may be good and ask if it is. If it's not, have the other person explain what was wrong with it. If you believe you know how to correct it, give it another try. This is an easy method to keep yourself on track with every technique that you are using.

Choosing the right partner to practice this art with is very important. Begin by choosing someone who is willing to practice with you. It is very important that you have the same expectations regarding the outcome and what you both want to achieve. It is generally easiest to try this with a close friend. Someone you can communicate with openly and who you feel comfortable being around. It is very important that you are patient and considerate with each other. Remember they are practicing with you to learn and improve. Everyone has to start somewhere. As long as there is potential for improvement, a bad kisser can become a good kisser. If both of you read this article and follow the advice given, you should both end up within the proficient category. Either practice with someone you are already involved with, or someone who you feel no sexual tension towards. Prolonging a kiss when you know you have to stop yourself from furthering the situation will only result in frustration for both parties.

6. Troubleshooting

It's every kisser's nightmare: you're leaning in for a romantic moment, your partner's lips are an inch away, and then you remember the garlic bread you had for dinner. When dealing with bad breath, you may find yourself at a crossroads. Do you bring it up and risk hurting your partner's feelings, or do you suffer through in silence, fearing the moment when your partner discovers it for themselves? The only way to effectively deal with bad breath is to gently and tactfully suggest a mint, a piece of gum, or a quick trip to the bathroom. This avoids any embarrassment and eliminates the cause of the problem, instead of masking it. If you find your partner's bad breath is an ongoing problem, the best way to approach it is indirectly, such as offering them a mint every time the situation arises. While it may be uncomfortable at first, it will benefit the both of you enormously and prevent you from enduring the problem in the future. And if it's your own bad breath you're dealing with, keep a small mint container in your pocket and chew on one in the sly when you feel it's necessary. By using one of these methods, you'll rarely, if ever, have to suffer through a kiss with bad breath.

6.1. Dealing with Bad Breath

The best way to let your partner know that they have bad breath is to recommend a visit to the dentist. This not only gets the problem solved, but if they follow through with your suggestion you can infer that they were conscious of their problem and are remedying it. It's a much less embarrassing alternative to confronting the person. If the person has chronic bad breath there isn't much more that you can reasonably do, sometimes you can smell a person's breath through their skin and in reality exchanging saliva with this person is inadvisable. However, if you are in a relationship with them it is important to ensure that this problem is not detrimental to their self-esteem or to your relationship with them. Remember to approach the subject with optimism and to not nag or offend the person.

6.2. Overcoming Nervousness

Many people feel anxiety about the prospect of French kissing, often worried that they might not do it well, that the other person might not like it, and also about complications such as whether it's appropriate in a given context (although 'appropriateness' is a complex issue which also varies greatly between different cultural settings). It's important to remember that while French kissing can be a highly charged activity, it's not a life and death situation: if it goes wrong, so what? Consider this an opportunity to develop a little more skill in a typically human activity. Confidence usually comes with practice – and if you can adopt a playful attitude, that makes it much easier to learn. Playfulness and lightness of attitude is another quality that typically makes French kissing more enjoyable: people usually don't like kissing someone whose overall energy is very intense, serious or 'heavy'. This isn't to say that you should treat the event lightly in a dismissive way, but more that lightness is conducive to relaxation, which in turn is conducive to an enjoyable and sensual kiss.

This brings me to the last point of this section. In a small minority of cases, people do feel a particular discomfort, aversion or even repulsion towards French kissing. While that's fine if it's really how you feel, it's also worth considering that in some cases this might be bound up with insecurities or inhibitions, or with memories of unpleasant experiences. Make sure that you're not using 'I don't like it' as a reason to avoid something that could be a pleasant and intimate activity, and if it is a strong aversion, ask yourself why that is. In doing so, you might find that dispelling some of the myths and misunderstandings around French kissing could ultimately lead to a more positive attitude towards it.

6.3. Addressing Discomfort

It's important to fully understand your level of discomfort before you start trying to address it on your own or ask your partner to help. First, is it a physical issue or is it emotional? If it is a physical issue such as pain or hunger, this needs to be addressed first to allow relaxation. Physical discomfort can directly affect your level of enjoyment and relaxation by acting as a distraction and may be the cause of any emotional discomfort. If this is not the case, you may just need more time to get used to the situation. New experiences always create some discomfort due to uncertainty, and taking part in the activity further will increase your level of comfort as familiarity with the situation grows. French kissing is no different from this rule, and the more you practice, the easier the whole process will become. This FAQ will attempt to address emotional discomfort or aversion to the activity. Another important factor is the level of communication between you and your partner. Sometimes just discussing the problem can lead to an easy solution that you may not have thought of on your own. Make sure that you are comfortable with discussing issues openly with your partner, and if anything is causing significant discomfort, it may be best to abstain from the activity for the time being.

7. Advanced Techniques

7.1. French Kissing Variations

7.2. Incorporating Lip Biting

7.3. Using Hands and Body Language

8. Taking It to the Next Level

Building an emotional connection - While most of the elements of a successful French kiss are to share a pleasurable experience with your partner, it is also important to have the right person and to be at the right place in your relationship. An emotional connection is key and that does not just involve the kiss but also the events prior to and following the kiss. Subconsciously asking for permission before a French kiss is also very important and accounts for body language more than words. A person who is open to a French kiss will exhibit changing facial expressions, particularly the eyes and lips. A seductive or inviting facial expression means to proceed, whereas any sort of awkwardness or a change of topic means that the timing is not right. A playful, relaxed, and rewarding mood are also ideal for a fulfilling French kiss. With the kiss itself, aim to share your feelings with your partner in the form of a kiss and also to understand and experience your partner's feelings. French kiss in varied situations to find out what each feels most comfortable with and to open new doors in your relationship.

Preparing for French kissing by finding a good location free of disruptions and creating a relaxing environment is the first step. As a French kiss is an intimate and slow kiss, rough and fast kissing will "ruin the mood." Techniques used during French kissing like deep breathing, sighs, moans, and sound effects are also forms of intimacy as you are sharing your experience with your partner. Close your partner's eyes and tell them to take a deep breath, envisioning a relaxing scene. As the heart rate slows and the body relaxes, it becomes easier to share a deeper experience. Close your own eyes and think to yourself "I want to kiss him/her" and the environment should naturally become more romantic.

Transitioning into intimacy - Part of what separates French kissing from a regular kiss is the additional level of intimacy. The physical act of French kissing is already intimate, but you can take it a step further by making the experience more emotional. Transitioning from a normal kiss into a French kiss can be considered a taste of things to come. When you first started French kissing over regular kissing, the added benefits were better feelings and a more magical experience. The same further applies when upping the ante from French kissing to something more.

8.1. Transitioning to Intimacy

A French kiss is definitely a big step from a traditional American kiss and there is more vulnerability because it is a type of passionate kissing and it's almost impossible to do it for jump and then stop. This is fine, so long as both of you are comfortable with it.

As mentioned previously, unique and exciting dates are crucial for this new phase of your relationship. As time goes on and the relationship progresses, issues will continue to surface regarding the issue of physical intimacy and sex. Each couple must examine their own comfort level and whether they feel they are ready for a physical relationship. The bottom line is, the longer you wait for that first kiss – whether it's on the first date, or after a few weeks – the better it will be once it happens. When it comes to any type of physical relationship, it's important that both people are willing participants and agree on the same level of intimacy. This is an essential point in any type of relationship whether casual or serious, so take the time to discuss it with your partner.

The first mistake that beginners make when they are preparing to have an intimate kiss is that they are overly enthusiastic. If you are in a situation where you believe you will have an opportunity to kiss someone, you should act accordingly. This means dressing properly, having fresh breath and just acting as someone with more experience would. If you've followed my advice on bringing breath fresheners and a spare mint, this is the perfect time to use it. You can offer one to your partner or just mention that you are going to freshen up and excuse yourself for a moment.

8.2. Building Emotional Connection

Discussing your fears, dreams, hopes, disappointments, including philosophical ideas, can really connect two people. Philosophy brings more approachability to the discussion because it's a less threatening topic than feelings. Any controversy stemming from the discussion can actually stimulate interesting conversation. It's healthy to have friendly debates as long as they don't destroy the emotional goodwill you've built up. Sharing and valuing each other's emotions and experiences will bring you closer... unless for some reason you are repulsed by your partner's emotions or experiences. In that case, you have deeper issues that need resolving. If your partner starts sharing a sad experience, think of how you can best comfort and support them. This gives you a chance to improve in an area of providing emotional support. This is an excellent opportunity to deepen your relationships through showing increased warmth and affection. So long as you're successful at offering comfort, you've turned a negative event into a positive bonding experience. You'll know you're building a stronger emotional connection when you start saying things more often beginning with "we" or "our" because your lives are becoming more intertwined. During all these discussions, remember the value of empathy. Understanding your partner's emotions and being able to share their emotional state will greatly strengthen emotional closeness.

9. Conclusion

After this in-depth and up-close consideration, the final analysis, the true question can be answered: what separates young learners of the craft with the experienced connoisseurs of French kissing? With this guide, the transformation for each user is apparent. Similar to a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, it is an ultimate change in finesse and skill. It is a step-by-step move from awkward indecisiveness to confident, skilled passion. This guide serves as a beacon to many who are lost at sea in their sexual endeavors. They now have the opportunity to realize their past mistakes and change for the better. As with shaping any new habit, development is a gradual process that must undergo the test of time. By implementing the steps and concepts outlined in this guide to your own personal experiences and trial and error, your skill in French kissing is destined to reach new heights. The pathway to change is in your hands; do not squander it. A word to more experienced users: becoming complacent is one of the most damaging facets to any artist or individual. This is the point when you are at your best that you must strive even further to improve. It is said that the best writers are the best readers; this should be a similar mindset when dealing with the dynamic nature of passionate romance. With the multitude of hints and advice on how to improve, utilize them periodically to ensure essential points are not forgotten and perhaps to master an especially difficult concept. Remember, even the grandmasters were once students.

9.1. Recap of Key Points

· Being prepared and having fresh breath is crucial. Using mints and having fresh breath is crucial.

· Start slow and soft, and only continue if the other person seems interested. The intensity should build slowly.

· Reduce your saliva. Swallow before you kiss.

· Control the slobber. Remember, you're not a dog.

· Gently rub the side of her tongue with yours. This should be a subtle yet sexy maneuver. Along with using your tongue, occasionally make light sweeping motions over her lips and the inside of her lips with your tongue. This is very arousing.

· Try mixing a little tongue action with your closed-mouth kissing; this can break the monotony.

· Remember to break away from the kiss from time to time. Kissing is not a marathon. A few light kisses and then make eye contact and smile, and then go back to kissing is a nice way to keep the passion and intimacy. Touch her/his face or hair when you pull away. This also gives you a chance to get back to the fresh breath step.

· Try not to put too much pressure on your partner. Kissing should be relaxing and not forced.

9.2. Final Words of Advice

Kissing is a really intimate act and you do not know where that other person's lips have been! There is nothing worse than bad breath and it always ruins a kiss. So always carry some mints with you! Please don't start chewing gum as this also makes the mouth an unpleasant area. A good test for fresh breath is to lick the inside of your wrist, wait for it to dry and then give it a sniff. If it doesn't smell too good then neither will your breath. Also, chapped and dry lips are painful to kiss and sometimes cause a little bleeding so it might be a good idea to carry some chapstick also. Finally, remember that sometimes things go wrong in kissing. Maybe you go for the kiss too fast or with the wrong person and it is largely embarrassing. Always make light of the situation. No one is a perfect kisser and it's highly likely that the two of you can just have a little laugh about it.

Use of tongue is perhaps the most crucial area. Do not shove your tongue down the other person's throat and do not let your tongue become stiff. I remember my first French kiss, I was so surprised at how soft his tongue was. So much so that I went home and told my mum that kissing was horrid because the boy's tongue was too soft. Remember that you are not trying to push a piece of food into someone's mouth. A light stroking of the tongue on the other tongue is quite sufficient, and when the people get better the one thing that can make a French kiss amazing is a gently playing of the tongue over the other's tongue touching the roof of their mouth. This cannot be done with a stiff tongue. Also remember when passionate kissing teeth often knock, so be careful and try and angle your head so that this does not happen. Starting to laugh halfway through kissing someone because of teeth clashing is largely embarrassing!